If you are in an emergency life or death situation and are bleeding, anything that keeps blood from leaking out is beneficial.

Check the prices of mailing tubes that are large enough to hold that print…

Shipping costs aren’t just the price of postage.

My satire meter is in serious need of calibration…

He’ll only look weak to people who live in reality. If Obama would have been accused of a felony, Trump’s base would have been up in arms about him running for president. Trump has been convicted of multiple felonies and it’s a rally cry for his campaign.

Bizzarro world is here.

He’ll show, say how the liberal media is against him, and walk out.

His base will consider it a win because he “owned the libs” and “he’s too smart to play their games!”

Reality is a poorly written sitcom and I hate it.

Amazon says the most popular item ordered for drone delivery in the 'States is AA batteries.

I was expecting condoms or plan B

The Jets near me closed. I miss that Detroit style deep dish 😞

Wipeout was cool, but I always preferred the N64 “knockoff” Extreme-G

Would anyone like to donate to me to open a Jedi Academy? We need money for Lightsaber Research.

If you told me an AI generated this random ass speech, I would tell you to go back to the drawing board.

“I wAsN’t tAuGhT tHeM iN sChOoL”

– Maga asshats

I think they’d be more afraid of the gay bombs

But they had to demonize CRT because it brought up too many uncomfortable questions that were obvious once someone mentioned them.

When the wool is full of holes it’s hard to pull it over someone’s eyes

Ethernet Over Audio

Isn’t that just a telephone modem?

“Gifted” in school basically just means “above average” and as we all know…

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

–George Carlin

I’d settle for viable candidates

Licensed Security Guard = Someone who couldn’t meet the (absurdly low) minimum standards to be a cop.

I definitely don’t trust those guys!

User: Goes through 15 step process to turn off unwanted “feature”.

Windows: I turned this on, in case it got turned off accidentally. I’ll do this every reboot.